Journal Entry 3.30.17

 

#SoulSisters Journal Entry 3.30.17

I knew it was time. Time to give Omega and myself some space for one on one connection. Just like Unity and I had benefited from. So, I eased Unity into the side pen and allowed Omega to stay in the large round pen. They were both very relaxed with the set up. Again, they shared a rail and were never out of sight from one another, or even very far apart. It is so important to me that I honor their connection. It has not felt right before now to even put one rail between them, but as comfortable as they are in this set-up and the fact that they both desire to connect with me in very unique ways, well it was more than enough for this to feel right now.

Omega is still afraid. I am the vast unknown and what is unknown is feared. By wild horses and wild humans. The unknown is scary and scarier still if you do not feel grounded in the Unseen peace that is always available, but easy to forget. That has been Omega. Quick to fly away from her fear, and even quicker to attack it. But to grow roots and allow that fear to penetrate her space? Oh no, she wants none of that. She is determined to remain in a place where she understands the world. Where things make sense to her. And I am not of this world and I do not make much sense to her either.

‘You must make it make sense.’ I have heard this silent request from every fearful wild horse I have met and many fearful wild people too. When living in a place of fear, things making ‘sense’ becomes even more important than ever. The thing is, when things start to ‘make sense’ you begin to take that unknown, thus fear factor away. I knew that Omega was going to require a unique way of communication in order to help her make sense of me. You see Unity is making sense of me clearly, but Unity is not Omega and Omega is not Unity. I needed to think of a way to help me make sense to Omega’s unique and fascinating brain.

As with anyone that feels some underlying fear, Omega loves control. She loves to be able to control her environment, her world, her peers. She wants to call the shots, because when she does and when the world responds, for a moment she feels stronger. For that moment, she feels in control of the Unknown that brings such fear. So, if I could just start to give her some control of her world, then maybe, just maybe that control would give her the confidence to allow herself to see into my Unseen, my Unknown, into the fear that she sees in me. And I know if she simply will ‘look’ at it. The fear will disappear, because that is what fear does – when we face it.

During this first session with just Omega and I, she gave me many ideas of brilliant things she can do to start to ‘control’ her environment in her mind. Now, this is a tricky concept … I must be careful what type of control I give her. For example, to give her the control to boldly charge me with her ears pinned and try to push me out of her space would not be a beneficial type of control for the future of our relationship. I must select behaviors that are in the highest good for our relationship together. A horse and human herd has unique dynamics, as much as I like to pretend I am a wild horse, I am not. It would be no big deal for Omega and a wild horse to charge one another, and strike and bite and ekk and whatever. … and that is exactly what they would do. But I would likely get the short end of that stick and it would surely not result in a relationship that resembled two wild horse friends. So, I must be smart as I guide Omega to uncover the behaviors that she can control.

In this video you can see the beginning of one of those behaviors. She offered this small circle on her own, she is far away from the arena rail and circling me with shape and softness. This is so much more than ‘free lounging’ or whatever it might appear to be. This was a huge pivotal moment for our relationship. As I recognized her offering something that was already amazing, but would progress into REALLY amazing, and it was in the highest good of our herd relationship together (Meaning she is not trying to flatten me) … as I recognized that, a light bulb went off and I got REALLY excited.

There are A LOT of possibilities with this concept. The concept to give her the control of choosing behaviors that are not only good for our relationship, but amazing to watch and have infinite room for growth. It may or may not seem like this was an ‘ah ha’ moment from the video – but it surely was!

And SO much has happened, later this very day – after this concept was really born.

Something to point out is, I have already introduced positive reinforcement training with her. I am speaking about today as if it were our first session, but of course, as you know, it is far from it. Omega has had quite a while to really, deeply understand that when I ‘cluck’ it means that whatever she was doing was right and she will be rewarded with TC Alfalfa. Her food drive is like none-other, so it has really progressed quickly. So I have a great way to simply tell her ‘Yes’ and for her to understand it.

The videos that will come over the next few days will really explain much more how this is working, but it is deeply intriguing to me to see Omega transform the way she is.

‘It must make sense.’

‘Let her have some control.’

These two concepts are working deeply within me now and the results have already astounded me. I cannot wait to share more, but there is so much depth to it, I feel I must explain it one step at the time.

from our light to yours Mary Miller Jordan and the #SoulSisters

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